Definitely Not…

My best friend, confidant and the most amazing woman I know, MJ, hit the nail on the head with our intro, as usual.  I think at times she knows me better than myself.  I too feel socially inept, incapable of having a regular conversation with people without them seeing me as, that picture she mentioned.  I tend to be a bit more hyper than MJ.  My sister says I’m like being around a cartoon.  My husband describes my new found “domestication” on par with taming a wild animal, or when he is in a good mood, he likens me to a feral cat.  Besides the never ending phenomena of organization that I can’t seem to grasp, I find it increasingly difficult to expand on my daily “spousal duties” as my dad calls it.

I have an only child.  She is not your typical only child.  She is extremely intelligent and has found all of my buttons in her 14 years of being on this planet.  She is the only one who has managed to do this, as I attempt to hide most of my buttons, not only from her, but from the world in general.  She attends public school.

My major complaint about her schools are the parking lots.  One day I will design the perfect parking lot and moms everywhere will no longer need a “time out” or medication in order to function without rage and/or severe confusion.  Saran Wrap is next on my list.  I swear that company has a deal with big pharma.  One more bout with plastic wrap and I don’t know what I will do next.

I would love to post a recipe, but I keep forgetting to write them down.  I can’t seem to recall what I made yesterday let alone what I make in general.  Well, that’s probably because the phrase “in general” is not in my vocabulary, along with any kind of routine.  Everything is done when I think of it, up to what time of day I take a shower.  Every day is different.

I wish that made it exciting, but it usually just makes things a bit more confusing.  Still working on the routine thing.  Oh, and please don’t suggest I make a list.  I don’t do lists.  I can’t remember to write the list, and if I do get that far I lose the list.  If I am writing the list I also find it hard to figure out what is supposed to be FIRST on the no, lists do not help me and never will.

I know we are not alone.  I also know that a lot of people wouldn’t fess up to half of what we are sharing.  Go ahead ladies, let it out!  It feels better, and we may be able to help each other..what a concept.

MJ lives in a land of never ending sunshine that I long for every day.  When I tell her it’s been raining here in Seattle for days or months, I hear her sigh and longing for the rain and greener pastures of the Pacific Northwest where she was born.  I just think it’s gray and soggy and really quite depressing.  We need to switch climates for a bit..if only.

Arizona is the LAST place on Earth I would’ve imagined MJ to live.  The Pacific Northwest is in her bones, down to the jeans she is able to wear in 110 degree weather, her long beautiful hair and her art that fits Seattle like a glove.  She is a forest fairy reincarnate, and I am not joking at all about that.  I am only truly in my element when I can wear my breezy white linen pants, a tank top that sparkles and sandals.  SANDALS!  NO, I don’t wear socks with sandals like others here in Seattle.  So, I feel comfortable about three weeks out of the year.  The truth is we laugh at those people also.  Sorry sock wearing sandal’s just wrong.

Today I made chicken soup for dinner.  At 1 pm.  Hey, it’s never too early to cook.  Besides, I already did most of the laundry (forgot to turn the dryer on) and fed the dog and two cats.  Nobody is starving here!  Now all I have to do is vacuum, dust, wipe up the floors and clean three full baths.  I’d rather be at the shooting range.  Especially after typing that.

I hope you enjoy our adventures, and sometimes misadventures.  It’s about time someone “KEEPS IT REAL!” and that’s what this is all about.


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