Daytime Grocery Shoppers

Yes, I realize this picture has nothing to do with grocery shopping. MJ
Yes, I realize this picture has nothing to do with grocery shopping. MJ

Is it just me, or are the “daytime” grocery shoppers WEIRD?  I used to be the “after work” shopper and have found the daytime shopping to be…let’s say a bit disturbing.

First of all let me make the point that I’m not talking about senior citizens.  They, in my opinion, are full of knowledge and should be treated with the utmost respect, and sometimes caution in the parking lot.

I am specifically talking about the people who seem to have “come from nowhere”.  I always ask if the “bus” has dropped everybody off when I hit the store.  Sometimes, in produce, I turn into a counselor/cop/unlicensed physician and so on.  That’s IF I make eye contact, and take part in the conversation.

Sadly, I am wondering if I am one of THEM.

I don’t know how many times I have had to ask someone behind me in line to back up because they are breathing down my neck.  PERSONAL SPACE PEOPLE!  Or the ever so popular, “What are you making for dinner tonight?”  I don’t have a CLUE myself, so what am I supposed to say?  I want to say “My neighbor” but something tells me that wouldn’t help the situation.  I know everyone that works at my grocery store by name, and when I come in they all greet me like Norm from Cheers.  This leads me to believe I am a “daytime shopper”, and I already know I’m strange, so I’m not feeling too good about the fact that the “other” people bother me so much.  The worst are the people who take up the ENTIRE aisle to the point that you have to go down another aisle, and back up the first aisle to get what you need.  Or the people who walk REALLY slow in front of you with their 10 screaming children and you can’t get around them for anything.  Then, just as you see an opening and start whizzing around them, someone out of nowhere steps in front of you..then slows down.  It’s like really bad traffic.  I want to “cart rage” as I call it now, instead of “road rage”.

I know that I sound horribly judgmental, and I actually feel that way, which is why I am asking this question.

My husband is 6’7 without his shoes on, and weighs 220lbs.  He is not overweight.  I need to feed him at least 3000 calories a day just to keep his weight up and keep him from going crazy.  He’s not real nice if he is hungry, like a giant that hasn’t eaten in days.  So, I need to buy A LOT of food.  Good food.  My grocery cart is usually loaded every two weeks and I never have to buy garbage bags again, ever.  If the apocalypse comes I will share my unused grocery bags.  I promise, all 2000 of them.  Back on track now, so here I am with a ton of food and four other people in line keep asking if they can go ahead of me.  I always offer, but not for EVERYONE!  I have to go through the line a some point.  I think “WHERE are these people going in such a hurry?”  I know it’s not to work.  No, I’m not a mind reader, but the way they pay or the conversations they have tell me they aren’t working..at least during the day.  AAAHHH..so MAYBE they are the graveyard shift?  No, not possible.  Those people are awesome and not weird, usually.  Maybe over worked and tired but not flat out weird.

The deli woman is so great.  I cannot for the life of me figure out where she is from originally.  I am very good at being able to tell someone’s nationality, but this woman has got me baffled.  She is older than I am, more like a mother to me, and WOW, I have watched her almost go over the counter at a few people.  Most recently a man was making kissing sounds to get her attention.  I looked at him and than looked at her and knew she was going to turn into the Incredible Hulk.  I wonder how many times I have “backed” her up in a “deli situation”.  Yes, a “deli situation”.  I think it’s an actual “thing”.  You know, we are all standing around, waiting for our turn as one incredibly intelligent woman tries to do the work of 5 people.  Someone usually gets stupid and starts acting like they are the only person on the face of the earth who needs cheese and BAM!  We have a “deli situation”.  If the SH#* ever hits the  fan I want that woman right next to me.  Heck, she can live with me.  I’ve seen her “look” at people, grown men, and watch them wither like a weed that’s been sprayed with that “safe” orange weed killer stuff.   Yeah, I use that too..expensive but it smells good and like I’ve said before, my weeds are as big as some of your trees.

Now, I am posing a few questions.

Is there such a thing as “daytime shoppers?  Is it possible that I am one of “them”?  If I am, is that ok?  If not, how do I avoid it?  No, I can’t go shopping later.  Today I went at 8:30 and all was clear.  I’m thinking “they” are there between 10 and noon.  Everything happens between 10 and noon.  Like “Stay out of the sun between 10 and noon” or “Your house will get burgled between 10 and noon”..or is it between 10 and 3pm?  I forgot, sorry.

Until I have more answers I will continue to shop early.  If not than I will start a “daytime shopper” journal so I can pinpoint the exact problem and/or location of the people I wish to avoid.  Dang, that sentence right there answered my question.

I AM A DAYTIME SHOPPER!

Em

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