I’m The Loser In Every Crowd

543895_481418105255974_773449004_nOkay, so maybe I’m being a little dramatic.  Maybe it should read “Loner” instead.  I guess I was in a slightly feeling-sorry-for-myself mood yesterday… but not really.

It’s okay to feel like that sometimes, right?  As long as I snap out of it within an hour or so.

I had read an article on BlogHer about a mom that didn’t like the other moms around her at her child’s school.  Not that she was a Negative Nancy or anything.  She had some legitimate reasons – at least, in my opinion she did.

They were the same reasons that I didn’t befriend any moms when my teens were attending public school years ago.  I didn’t have anything in common with them.  It wasn’t that it bothered me about that fact.  It bothered them.

When my son (my oldest) started kindergarten, I was 25… and I looked about 18.  The other moms were in their 30s.

Hey, I tried to be nice and friendly.  I tried to make play-dates and even volunteered to host Girl Scout meetings when my oldest daughter was in kindergarten.  They just wouldn’t have it.  There was some excuse and then a “Maybe next time.”

I didn’t want to gossip about this mom or that dad, and I didn’t want to talk about shopping for shoes.  I hadn’t seen the latest girly, romance flick, and I hadn’t read the newest romance or self-help book.

My contribution to the group’s conversation: “The culture I’ve been incubating in Microbiology class for the past couple of weeks looked so cool!” and “I can’t wait for the next Resident Evil/ Tomb Raider/ Final Fantasy game to come out.  The trailer looked so cool!”

I mention in this post what I think other moms see when they first meet me or get to know me a little bit.

Now that I homeschool… I still have the same problem.  Only I’m fairly certain it’s mostly my fault this time around.

I’m older now (37) and I’ve matured some.  I just got tired of trying and I got used to not being sociable.  And I’m more comfortable in my weirdo skin now and don’t have the patience to deal with judgmental bitches anymore.

I focus more on my kids’ education now and broadening their worldview.  I would be that teacher in the picture above if I became a science teacher – “Hey kids!  Wanna try a cool experiment?”  I’ve actually considered teaching.  Scary, huh?

My only worry now is for my toddler.  My teens have their own activities, and I don’t need to coordinate play-dates for them.  My toddler, however, will not be put into public school, so I will have to become more sociable than I am now to get her the social interactions that she will need.  Though I have found that homeschooling moms are less judgmental and much more accepting and genuinely nicer than their public school counterparts.

*sigh*  I just hate having to leave my house.

I think the other moms that I would probably get along with hate leaving their houses, too.

I totally lost where I was going with this post.

That’s another thing.  Because of my ADD, when I start talking to someone about something, I go off on a bunch of different tangents.  Then I totally forget the initial point I was trying to make.  It’s embarrassing to say the least.

I stop talking mid-sentence and say, “Huh.  I completely forgot where I was going with this.”  I giggle nervously and try to play it off.  Then there’s that uncomfortable silence, and I can see how truly unnerved the other mom is.

My neighbor has toddlers.  She seems nice enough and a little weird like me.  We don’t get to talk much because I hate leaving my house and she’s never home.

I think I’ll ask her today if she wants to set up a play-date.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

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2 thoughts on “I’m The Loser In Every Crowd”

  1. I know it’s me commenting, but THEY are the ones who missed out..not you.
    You made me laugh so hard! What the heck did She-Ra say? By the honour of Grayskull!! You have the power, after all she IS the most powerful woman in the universe..He Man’s sister and all..

    1. Eh. They didn’t miss out on much; I’m such a boring person.

      You are one of the few that get my extra-dry sense of humor. Everyone else just looks at me weird. 😉

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