Category Archives: Recipes

Updated Mini Pizza Recipe: The Lazy Version or Tortilla Pizza

tortilla pizza
Tortilla Pizza!

I’m lazy.  If there’s a shortcut to doing something, I want to know about it, or I’ll figure it out.

I hate cooking, so I’m all about shortcuts for recipes.

Yes.  I hate cooking.  This revelation blew my son’s mind a few months ago.  He thought I loved cooking.  We never eat out, and I always cook.  I am always experimenting, when I cook, too.  I am always researching recipes and tweaking them into healthier versions.  So, of course, he thought I loved to cook.

Well, I dont.  I do it because I love my family.

And because I’m afraid when I go to a restaurant, the person cooking my food has Hep A and a different idea of hygiene than me.

So back to the lazy version of things.

For our Mini Pizza recipe, we cut the tortillas and placed them into a muffin tin, making cute little cups of yumminess.

That’s just too much work for me.

Now, I put everything on a tortilla and shove it in the toaster oven.

What you’ll need:

1.  Tortillas

I finally found some gluten-free ones!

2.  Pizza sauce

We use the pizza sauce in the jar from Trader Joe’s.

3. Cheese

We like to use a mixture of mozzarella and cheddar, but cheddar alone works well.

4. Toppings

I have to have onions.  I also like to chop up whatever leftover chicken we have.

parmesan, chicken
Parmesan-Encrusted Chicken Leftovers

I used the recipe for my Parmesan-Encrusted Zucchini Rounds and made this chicken.  It was really good!

Anyway, for this pizza, I used chicken, onions, and green bell peppers.

chicken, onions, bell peppers
Chopped chicken, onions, and bell peppers.

After you’ve chopped your toppings, grab a piece of tin foil, and put your tortilla on it.

I hate shredding cheese because I hate having to clean the shredder afterward.  Have you ever shredded your skin while trying to clean that thing?  I have.  It sucks.

Slicing the cheddar cheese works well, and it’s easier to place.  Yes, I have also sliced my thumb with the cheese slicer, but it’s not as bad as grating a patch of your skin.

If I use mozzarella, I chop it up into small cubes and place them around the tortilla.  I didn’t have any mozzarella on hand for this pizza.

Spread some pizza sauce on your tortilla, lay your cheese down, and place your toppings.

tortilla pizza
Uncooked Tortilla Pizza

Unfortunately, like the other pizza recipe, I don’t time it.  I “watch it.”

Yes, I know this is annoying, as it annoys my son, as well, when he wants to make his own.  He has ADD, so he wanders out of the kitchen and forgets he’s cooking something.

I used to do this.  I stopped burning things, once I learned that I need to stay in the kitchen no matter what, when I’m cooking.  I am trying to teach him this skill.

I do put the toaster oven on bake at 350F degrees, though.  It doesn’t take that long, maybe a few minutes.

The time varies because sometimes I’m so hungry, I don’t wait for the cheese to get all bubbly and brown.

tortilla pizza
Tortilla Pizza

Use whatever leftovers you have in the fridge for your toppings.  Experiment.

After it’s done, don’t forget to sprinkle some red pepper flakes and grated parmesan!

Quick and easy breakfast, lunch, or dinner!  Enjoy!

Is It Baked Parmesan Zucchini or Zucchini Parmesan… Err… Rounds?

baked, crispy, parmesan, zucchini, rounds
Baked Crispy, Parmesan-Encrusted Zucchini Rounds

And is it chips, rounds, crisps, or coins?  I will call mine “Rounds.”  No.  I will call them “Crispy Rounds,” as they are crisp but not chips and not small, like coins.

How about this:  Baked Crispy, Parmesan-Encrusted Zucchini Rounds?  I mean, it’s not the parmesan that’s round; it’s the zucchini.

Anyway, I used to fry these.  It was all complicated, took forever, and I absolutely hated making them.  I’d whisk an egg, then add milk.  I’d dredge the zucchini rounds through a mixture of parmesan, italian herbs, and garlic powder, and fry them in coconut oil.

It was such a pain in the ass.

Plus, they came out nowhere near as crispy as the new method and recipe.  Once I’d drop them in the oil, half the flavoring would fall off and float away.

My family loves these, though, and were asking for me to make them the other day.  I remembered reading awhile ago about a recipe to bake the zucchini.  I was suspicious of the claims that it would come out crispy.  So I did a search and picked the recipe with the most positive ratings.  I followed the recipe exactly.

I burnt them.

What the fuck?  Yes, I said this as I opened the oven door and peeked inside, 20 minutes into the 25 to 30 minutes the recipe called for.

So I redid the recipe my way.

Baked Crispy, Parmesan Encrusted Zucchini Rounds

1/2 cup parmesan*
1 tablespoon italian seasoning**
1 tablespoon garlic powder***
1 zucchini, sliced into 1/8- to 1/4-inch rounds
Olive oil

I used *the so-not-good-for-you parmesan in the green can, **McCormick’s Gourmet Collection Tuscan Style Italian Seasoning, and ***McCormick’s Gourmet Collection Course Grind Garlic Powder with Parsley.  I will probably use fresh, grated parmesan next time, as the green-can variety is a bit too salty for me.

I don’t add a lot of salt to my food, so my tastes may be different from yours.  If it’s not salty enough, you can always shake some salt on afterwards.

Preheat oven to 425F degrees.

Pour about 1/4 cup of olive oil into a small bowl.

Mix the parmesan, italian seasoning, and garlic powder into another small bowl.

Thinly coat a foil-lined baking sheet with olive oil.

Dip each zucchini round into the olive oil, making sure to let the excess drip off or tap it off.  Then coat each round in the parmesan mixture, pressing the round into the mix to ensure thorough coating.

Place coated zucchini rounds onto the baking sheet in a single layer.

Bake for 15 minutes, give or take 5 minutes, depending on your oven.

Using a metal spatula, immediately, place baked zucchini rounds onto some paper towels to cool.

Eat by themselves or dipped in some ranch dressing, or dip of your choice!  Enjoy!

Homemade Creamy Almond Butter. Yes, It Exists.


Maybe it’s just me that’s finally figuring it out – I’m usually the last one to figure stuff out.  Apparently, I’ve been making almond butter all wrong for the past year.

I wasn’t processing it long enough.

I started making almond butter after reading about it on Mark’s Daily Apple, a site where I first started learning about Primal and Paleo diets.  Maybe I read it wrong.  I don’t know, and I don’t remember.  I’d add some raw almonds, coconut oil, and salt into my food processor, and then whirl it a bit.  It would come out like a chunky nut butter, but it wasn’t very spreadable.  My son and husband would eat it anyway, spooning it onto apples or bananas or chunks of bread.

So the other day, I noticed a jar of peanut butter on the counter.  I was slightly horrified.  My son had bought it because he missed the creamy-ness of it.  Peanut butter is actually very bad, bad, bad for you, and peanuts aren’t actual tree nuts either.  Look it up on Google, or even in the dictionary, if you don’t believe me.

Hey, I love peanut butter, especially on toasted English muffins.  Mmmmm… that’s the best.  But I’m trying to eat healthier, and peanuts are a no-no.

Anyway, I felt bad that I couldn’t make creamy almond butter for my son.  I didn’t think it was possible.  So I went online and searched for recipes.  I found a lot, and they all stated that almond butter can be as creamy as peanut butter.  I love a challenge, and any experiment gets me excited.

I got my food processor out and threw in:

3 cups raw almonds  (I bought a big bag at Costco, but I know you can buy them at Sprouts in the bins.)
3 turns on the grinder Himalayan pink salt  (A large pinch of any salt will do.)

Most of the recipes I read had 10 minutes for the processing time.  Mine took closer to 15 minutes, including stopping it to scrape down the sides.

I promise I’m not lying about the creamy part.  I thought it was a lie.  I was standing there watching the almonds go round and round, thinking for sure it would need some oil to make it even close to creamy.  Every time I opened it to scrape the sides down, I kept thinking to myself, “Creamy?  My ass.  This is never going to get creamy.  Liars!

But I kept going out of curiosity.  Here are the stages I witnessed:

1)  Bolus.  It formed a large, clumpy ball, that just stuck to one side and didn’t move.  Then it just gets pushed around and around the side of the container.

2)  Pottery wheel.  I shit you not.  An indentation formed in the middle of that clump and, moving round and round, looked like it was forming a fancy vase.

3)  Creamy.  The vase was whipped apart and, I’ll be damned, it got creamy!

Mind you, this nut butter isn’t as smooth and creamy as Jif.  I don’t think that’s even possible, using a food processor.

Also, many of the recipes stated that if you add coconut oil or honey to the butter that it will decrease its shelf life.  I didn’t see any explanation of why that is, and I haven’t looked into the science of it either.  It does sound a little suspicious to me, though, because coconut oil and honey can sit practically forever, without refrigeration.  So how it could reduce the almond butter’s shelf life is a mystery to me.

Regardless, great add-ins for small, personal helpings are honey, shredded coconut, cocoa powder and/ or nibs.  Use your imagination and your taste-buds!  You can even roast the nuts, and then process them.

You can, also, substitute this almond butter in place of peanut butter in cookies and other recipes.  I’ve made an experimental flour-less, gluten-free cookie recipe with almond butter and cocoa powder that tasted, and had the consistency of, cake-y brownies.  I’ll have to perfect it first, before posting it.

Dear readers, do you have any good recipes using almond butter or a yummy almond butter recipe of your own?