Tag Archives: parenting

I’m Tired Of Smelling Like Pee.

This is the one we use.
This is the one we use.

I’ve been trying to potty-train my toddler for the past few months.  It’s been difficult, to say the least.  And I know it could be worse.

I know what you’re thinking, you moms.  Your fingers are itching to type some advice into the comments section below.  If you tell me to throw some panties on her and it should only take a weekend, I will beat you and then strangle you with a used, dirty diaper.

I have 2 teens, remember?!  I have done this before and know how this is supposed to go.

Also, don’t tell me that maybe she’s not ready yet.  She’s ready.  Again, I have been through this twice already.  I threw underwear on them, and they took to peeing in the toilet pretty quickly, even with a few accidents.  Pooping was another story with my son.  That took awhile, and I’ve read that’s normal with boys.

My toddler wants to wear underwear.  She rips her diapers off and even tells me what particular kind she wants to put on, depending on her mood, “Mama!  Kitty panties!” (meaning Hello Kitty) or “Mama!  Faerie panties!” (meaning Tinker Bell).  Most of the time, she doesn’t mind sitting on the toilet, as we have a stack of books nearby and she listens attentively when I read.

In fact, she has been ripping her diaper off after she pees or poops since she was a year and a half.  I didn’t want to start potty-training her then because I felt the whole concept would be lost on her.  I didn’t feel she was ready.

The current problem:  She doesn’t want to stop playing or doing whatever it is she’s doing to go to the toilet.  When I try to take her, she’ll complain, “No!  Don’t want it!”  I know she’s gotta go; I know the signs and I see them.  She’ll hold it, too.  So I try to carry her to the toilet, and she’ll kick and yell.  She’ll arch her back when I try to set her on the toilet.  So I’ll say, “Okay.  Fine.  Just don’t go potty in your panties.  Tell me when you have to go potty.”

“Okay, Mama.”  Then she runs back to whatever she was doing.

Then I lose track of the time, and it’s an hour later, or it’s only 10 minutes later, and she won’t hold it anymore.  Won’t, not Can’t.  She takes the time to stand up and look down, or squat and look down, to pee right where she’s playing.

Oh, and, yes, she understands the concept of putting her potty in the toilet.  She makes Tinker Bell and all the other faeries go potty on the toilet in Barbie’s house.  And it’s not like she hasn’t gone potty in her toilet a bunch of times already with no problems.

I’m at my wit’s end, and I’m sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired of cleaning up pee, and I’m sure my teens are, too.  (They’ve been so awesome helping me with this!)  Good thing we have tile in most of the house.  I’m also tired of smelling like pee at the end of the day.  Even though she doesn’t pee on me and, when I carry her to the tub to be washed, I don’t think I get any pee on me, I still manage to smell like it.

I took a break yesterday.  I had to.  For my sanity.  I tried to keep her in diapers all day.  She kept asking for her panties.

Okay, so here’s where I ask for advice.  Have any of you had to deal with a difficult child when it comes to potty training, or maybe this same situation?  Please, please, please, throw some suggestions my way.

I cringe at the thought, but I am totally ready to start bribing her with chocolate chips.

I Don’t Like Most Other People’s Children

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Most being the key word here.  There are a scant few exceptions with particular family and friends.  And only fewer know this.  Em knows this.  So when I read another blogger mom confessing this in a BlogHer email, I felt compelled to click and read the rest of the post.  Let me tell you a bit about me first.

I was never a motherly type before I had kids of my own.  You know how most women go gahgah over babies, especially newborns, and want to immediately hold them?  I was the complete opposite.  I thought babies were sometimes slightly cute but always gross, and definitely scary.  I couldn’t understand why other women wanted to hold someone else’s drooling bundle.  Whenever I was asked if I wanted to hold their baby, I would say, “Uhhh… no thanks.  I’m serious.  That’s okay.  Maybe next time.”

Yeah, I babysat when I was a teen, and I was an awesome babysitter.  I played with the kid, acted a little goofy, and even tidied up the parents’ home.  The kids had to be completely (and I mean completely) potty-trained though.  But we’ve all done things for money that we didn’t like, right?  Wait… that sounded bad.  You know what I mean.

When I got pregnant unexpectedly at 19, I was actually happy and excited.  I fell utterly in love with this little stranger growing inside of me, that would eventually pop out as one of those squirming, drooling things that I normally didn’t want to touch.  After my son was born, I was beside myself in tears whenever we were apart.  I breast-fed for almost two years and loved kissing and snuggling him.  Over the years, I have lovingly cleaned up his poop, pee, barf, and blood.  I’m not going to lie and say it was all rainbows and happy bunnies.  I was young and impatient and inexperienced.  It was difficult.  But he was (and still is) a good boy.

I had my oldest daughter 3 years later and fell equally in love.  I still have a difficult time letting her out of my sight and being apart from her – and even my son, for that matter.  Thirteen years after that, I had my second daughter.  I still can’t get enough of her kisses and snuggling her.  She’s the cutest thing!  I love how her cheeks are so soft and smooshy when she first wakes up, perfect for kisses!  Man, but I do pop out really cute kids.

Even after having 3 kids of my own, other people’s kids still make me uncomfortable.  The kids that I don’t mind, and actually like for short periods of time, think that I hate them because even they still make me uncomfortable.  I’m not one of those adults that can get excited and talk to kids.  I’m serious and quiet most of the time and have a really dry sense of humor.  Ask Em.  Although kids (that aren’t mine) make me uncomfortable in a conversational capacity, I’m not afraid to speak up and tell them if they are acting inappropriately or being rude to my children.  I don’t scold or yell or curse, unless they are extremely out of control; I just tell them in a  matter-of-fact tone.  I’ve had parents get defensive and huffy over this.  Oh, well.  It’s not like we’d become friends if their kid was a jerk.

Anyway, about this post I read yesterday.  I saw myself in this mom, and the post looked like something that could have come from my fingertips, potty-mouth and all.  Yes, dear readers, in person my mouth is as dirty as a sailor’s, especially when I’m driving.

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.  I actually laughed out loud a few times.  I have been (and am) this parent when dealing with unsupervised children.

As the only adult in a fifty-something foot radius, they immediately latch on to you like thirsty leeches in a blood drought, desperate for contact with some kind of authority figure who might give two craps about their lives.

“WATCH ME SWIM! I CAN DO A HANDSTAND!” And you smile indulgently and nod. Yes, yes, children, that’s all very nice. I, a random stranger, am impressed and amazed. Now please try not to die near me while I supervise the only one of you I actually care about.

It Takes a Village to Raise a Child (But What if The Kids Are Jerks?)

Part 4: Contribution To Community And Socialization


5. Have you found time to contribute to your community or the greater good? If so, what are you doing?

Time?  Nope.  My kids, however, have time to volunteer at our local botanical garden – Phoenix’s Desert Botanical Garden.  Not only do they assist at the Garden, but they also help maintain local trails and parks.  Volunteering is a great way for homeschoolers to meet like-minded peers and offers extra educational opportunities, such as learning about local flora and fauna and how to sustain a vegetable garden.  They also learn the value of working together and improving their community.

Anything else you want to share?

What about socialization?  That’s always the big question regarding homeschooling.  You do have to be proactive because it is easy to become absorbed in your daily lessons and forget about your kids’ need for peer interaction.

Like I mentioned earlier, volunteering is a great way for kids to meet peers while contributing to their community.  There are also homeschooling groups for all ages that meet daily, weekly, and/ or monthly for P.E. and team sports, park days, art classes, music lessons, baseball games or theatre shows, movies, field trips, tutoring, and anything else you could think of.  Some activities are free and others are usually discounted.

Local zoos, science centers, arts centers, and botanical gardens may also offer activities, sometimes specifically for homeschoolers.  My oldest daughter takes Teen Pottery Wheel lessons at our local arts center.